This is a true story of mine. The tears that flow from the pages of this site are real and come out of extreme disappointment.  The tragedies you will read about were heart wrenching and life changing for me, and continue to impact my individual live.  Perhaps these emotional and spiritual scars will be transformed into bright and shining stars that will shed light for the person who is walking in the dark drug-infested world.

It is my opinion, based upon experience, that the drug addict who is reared in a good, solid home where strong morals and self-respect are instilled, will not only betray the people that love and care for him, but will also violate his own conscience.  He will be disloyal to all that he knows to be true, just, pure, good, and lovely.

There's no other way to say this: My life sucked. I felt as if our family problems were all my fault. Then, when I was about 19, one of my friends thought it would be fun to watch me try pot. That's When I found out about drugs. By the time I was 21, I was starting on Quaaludes. I would take anything that would make me feel better. I was running away from it all, and as long as I was drunk or high, I thought I was OK; I was still getting high and drunk. I started using crack in my 20s. That is he most hideous drug I've ever encountered. It just consumed me; I couldn't stop. I was a mess from decades of abuse. But after someone came in to my life I made the change from being a victim to being a survivor. You know, when you're a victim, you're not in charge. You can blame everything on someone else, but ultimately you're responsible for your choices. 

Her love gave me enough courage to give up drugs and after that she left me in the middle of nowhere. I did not use it for a long time. But the hardest thing in my life even harder than getting sober - was rebuilding my relationship with my Parents, gaining their trust.

I'm the type of person who would try anything. I started drinking when I was 17, and by18, I was doing pot, cocaine and Ecstasy. I always kept my feelings inside until I was ready to burst, and then I'd turn to drugs. If I was mad, I'd go get high. If I was depressed, I'd go get high. Somehow, I began to see drugs as a way to keep myself going. Eventually I got hooked on heroin. I seemed to have a normal life, though. I had a job doing office work [with] computers. What no one knew was that I'd have to do bags of dope just to force myself to get out of bed. And I thought, "My God, I've got to get off this." I really tried. But I was too afraid of withdrawal. It's like having the flu times 100. You've got pain in your back, in your legs, all over. I just wanted to stop feeling so bad. I ended up doing both crack and heroin. I was spending Rs 800 a week on drugs. My drug dealer would say, "Buy me a VCR and I'll give you something." So I'd take my dealer shopping.

I was caught with Nitro sun and was arrested. My family had no idea I had been using drugs until they saw me in handcuffs. I mean, they had noticed I was losing weight, but I always told them I had the flu. Who wants to think their little baby is doing this? My father used to be a Government official, and to him, drugs are a really horrible thing. But they always turned their backs on me. It was very confusing. I was frustrated and angry with myself.

Now I am in middle east working in a private company for the past 22 months.I don't know why my parents choose this country where a person can't even get alchoal.Anyway It was all my decision to come and work here and I am feeling much better now. After I arrived in this country I could not sleep for 2 months. My body could not bear the chilled from the air condition in the room and my mind was dreaming about drugs but unfortunately you can't get anything because it is the world's toughest country in terms of drugs. I spend almost 2 months outside my room. I used to sleep in a bus which was parked outside our room.The only compeny I get inside that bus was lot of cats.They are d only companion for those hard nights. Now It feels like new birth .I still think about drugs, but I have to be stronger. I learned that you can do things sober and still have fun, such as going dancing or eating out. I spent 80% of my time in computer. I never thought I'd be able to get this far. I figured I'd be on drugs the rest of my life. I feel good now; I'm proud of myself. One of my friends told me that my story was inspiring. I felt so good that day. I felt as if I had finally accomplished something.